


Lost in translation

by Madam_Violet



Series: The Vault Chronicles [32]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A bit of humour, Angst, F/M, The Vault (Doctor Who), mainly as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 04:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17501312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madam_Violet/pseuds/Madam_Violet
Summary: A malfunction of the translation matrix in the Vault causes some communication issues for Missy and Nardole. And of course, the Doctor is away for the week.





	Lost in translation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [D_f_m22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_f_m22/gifts).



> Based on a prompt by d_f_m22

When the Doctor left this time, Nardole wasn't worried the slightest. It wasn't the first time he was left alone guarding the Vault for a few days and Missy was pretty calm this time around. If he visited her regularly and made sure she was entertained, there was no reason things would go wrong. Of course, with Missy, things could always go wrong, but it didn't mean he couldn't relax a little.  
And of course, it had to be this particular week the incident happen. Technical issues in the Vault were rare, as quantic technologies was design to last for centuries, but they weren't meant to sustain life. All the electric devices, the dozens of lamps to avoid any black patch, the TV, the heaters, the dimensional stabilizer... not a single of these were free from short-circuit hazard. And one's talking about using them in a safe and appropriated way. Missy was very creative when it came to malfunctions, when she didn't sabotage on purpose to get attention. But this time, she wasn't to blame.  
When Nardole pushed the door, Missy was leisurely lying on her bed, eyeing sleepily in the Cyborg's direction as he was installing a tea pot and biscuits on the table.  
“Wakey wakey, sleepy head, it's tea time” he prompted her with a joyful voice.  
Missy frowned and started laughing. Nardole looked at her startled.  
“What is so funny ?”  
She opened her eyes wider and laughed more than ever. Visibly, there was something hilarious. Nardole checked his jumper for a silly stain, then started worrying about a possible prank she might have set for him. When she finally calmed down, she managed to articulate a few words... that sounded like a complete gibberish. Nardole frowned.  
“What are you saying ?”  
She answered in gibberish again.  
“If it's your idea of a joke, I admit it's funnier than usual, but the shortest are the funniest ones, you know.”  
She retorted something, growing more and more irritated. Finally, she got up to her feet and wrote something on a piece of paper. But what Nardole read were just a line of cryptic symbols. Realizing her words weren't any readable Earth language, Missy took another paper and started writing in Gallifreyan. This time, the text stayed unchanged. Nardole looked at it, biting his cheek in deep concentration before the piece came together in his mind : there was an issue with the telepathic translation matrix. Gallifreyan was the only language the malfunctioning machine didn't translate automatically. Fortunately, the Cyborg knew a few words of the ancient Time Lords language, and he could probably find a dictionary for the mysterious dialect the matrix was currently using as a default choice.  
“Wait for me” he managed to articulate in a broken High Gallifreyan that made Missy burst into a hilarious series of giggles.

Back to the Doctor's office, Nardole opened the TARDIS and started rummaging through the library. He had to find a manual to repair the broken translator, as well as South-Andromedian dictionary. He finally managed to put his hands on an electronic device able to scan any text and immediately translate it.

Back to the Vault, he found Missy less than amused, as she realized her comics were also in South-Andromedian, a language she visibly lacked in her immense knowledge. Nardole showed her the manual, lifting his thumbs in the air. But of course, the manual was translated too. He tried using his electronic device, but this time, the South-Andromedian became antique Rastacoricofalapatorian.  
“Damn it !” He swore in English, earning a faux shocked look from Missy.  
The manual had very complex explanations, and he couldn't memorize everything, despite having a far better memory than average. Finally, he realized he missed and important item for the repair, and the Doctor had left with the dematerialization circuit, probably to prevent Nardole hiding it again.  
“I'm sorry” he said in High Gallifreyan, “We have to wait for the Doctor”.  
Missy nodded, very serious, this time. They took their tea in silence, Missy making comments randomly, waiting for a reaction. By experience, Nardole was thankful he didn't understand South-Andromedian.

The next day, Missy was visibly more agitated. The translation issue was less funny after one day for being unable to read or listen to anything, or worse, to communicate with another sentient being. Nardole made some efforts in Gallifreyan, but it didn't feel like an actual conversation, and the third night, Missy started crying.  
The floor was covered in papers when Nardole entered the Vault, and he understood she was trying to learn South-Andromedian.  
“Congratulation” he told her, and she looked at him with a smile. Visibly, her knowledge of this obscure foreign language was increasing pretty fast.  
Taking a paper, she handled it to Nardole, and it appeared miraculously as English.  
“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,  
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;  
All the king's horses and all the king's men  
Couldn't put Humpty together again."  
Nardole rolled his eyes. The message was signed by a mysterious word in Gallifreyan he couldn't decipher, but was probably the punchline of this not-so-elaborated joke.  
"Very spiritual, miss !"

The fourth day, last one before the Doctor's return, Missy was growing agitated and Nardole wasn't sure what he should do. Bringing her out of the Vault was for sure a terrible idea. Her apparent distress was probably part of a cunning plan anyway. After four days, she had to be fluent in South-Andromedian. Curled on her bed, she was clutching her biggest pillow, papers scattered all around her.  
“Miss ?” Nardole tried to prompt her with a soft voice. “Your diner is still warm, you should eat before the soup gets cold.”  
She lifted her head and practically hissed at him like a feral cat. He took a few steps back and left.

On the morning of the fifth day, the Doctor finally came back.  
“Ah, sir, glad you're back !”  
“A problem, Nardole?” the Doctor asked, noticing the agitation in the Cyborg's voice.  
“The translation matrix in the Vault is broken. Why does Missy need this anyway, she's fluent in most languages.”  
“She's reading in a lot of languages, and the translator makes thing more comfortable. What's the issue ?”  
“It translates English into South-Andromedian.”  
The Doctor nodded and walked to the Vault.  
“I prefer warning you, she's in a bad mood.”

The Doctor opened the door and walked slowly to the bed where Missy was still hiding.  
“Are you okay ?” he asked in Gallifreyan.  
She shook her head.  
“Everything is so hard to understand.”  
“Are you talking about the translator ?”  
She nodded in silence.  
“It's just a little glitch, don't worry. I'm going to check on it right now.”  
He was about to get up from the bed, but she grasped his hand and squeezed it a bit too hard.  
“Ouch ! What's going on, Koschei ?” he asked in Gallifreyan.  
“The words make no sense.”  
The Doctor laughed softly.  
“Well, even you can't become fluent in South-Andromedian in only five days.”  
“Well, I'm almost fluent now !” she replied with scorn. “It's not the problem.”  
“So what's the problem, then ?”  
She shook her head nervously and choke on her spit, unable to let the words come out. The Doctor sat next to her and drew soothing circles in the small of her back. She leaned against him and started hyperventilating.  
“Shh, sweetheart. It's okay, you can take your time.”  
“I like talking in Gallifreyan with you. We should do it more often.”  
“Yeah, we should.”  
Missy closed her eyes and the Doctor lied down with her and took her in his arms. So small and cuddly tonight.  
“When I was captured, after Skaro” she whispered “they took me on a planet I didn't understand the spoken language. I had no idea what was going on. I had no text, nothing to help me grasp it and the guards made no effort.”  
“It must have been scary”  
“It was. Then they made me fill tons of paper works I couldn't even read. I had no idea what I was signing for.”  
The Doctor nodded and kissed the top of her head.  
“So when the translator stopped working, I tried to joke about it, then to learn South-Andromedian. But it didn't change the fact I couldn't read or listen properly to my books and DVDs. And I had no mean to communicate with Nardole. It hurts to say that, but I'm glad he knows basic High Gallifreyan. He's not that bad, he's actually pretty good. But please, never tell him I said that !”  
The Doctor giggled and ruffled Missy's hair.  
“When you can't communicate, you don't feel like a person. You feel like a trapped animal. It's stupid because I'm a Time Lady, one of the most intelligent creature in the universe. But I was unable to even state my name or ask for help.”  
“It's okay, Missy. You know it was an irrational reaction, right ?”  
“I know. Nardole is always so nice and caring. I think I felt safe with him even if we were unable to communicate properly. Those five days were the loneliest days I've spent there.”  
“I'm sorry. I'm going to repair the translator, okay ?”  
Missy nodded.  
“At least I've learned a new language.”  
The Doctor picked the Humpty Dumpty poem and nodded.  
“Not bad. I love how you translated “bazinga” in High Gallifreyan. Borusa would be proud.”


End file.
